a follow-up mother's day post on why i love being a mom

watching ben and emre play in the pool on mother's day, i felt completely overwhelmed with love and gratitude.  they were so eager to celebrate me on my special day, but it's really them that i was celebrating.  ben, for letting me be a mom, and being such a sweet, loving & devoted dad and husband.  he is the best partner i could have chosen for this journey.  and emre, for being mine.  he didn't choose that, of course, but i'm so incredibly grateful that he is.

there are certain times when it really hits me - he's hurt and immediately looks for me, arms reaching for me to scoop him up; he is tired and crawls into my lap to snuggle and play with my hair- that i am his place for comfort and peace.  he has this game where he 'cuts my hair' - but first, he has to cover me with the newspaper, unfolding one page at a time and laying it on me sheet by sheet (his version of the barber's cape) while pointing out pictures and asking what they are - and sometimes he forgets to even cut my hair, the process takes so long.  this week we got him some new mickey mouse underwear, which he loves.  this morning when he was going potty he looked down at them and said to me, the excitement almost tangible in his voice: 'ahhh! mommy.... mickey!!!'  i love his little mind.

at night when i put him to bed, i turn off the light and sit in his chair in his room, he wraps his legs around my waist, rests his head on my shoulder and relaxes his arms at his sides, and we sway back and forth while i sing to him and rub his back.  when he's ready, he points to his crib, and i lay him down so he can drift off to sleep, totally at peace.  this is our unspoken, a code between mother and son.  i will continue to do it for as long as he will let me - and then i'll probably do it secretly, after he falls asleep.  it is the best moment of my day.

i look at him and i'm not sure how i got so lucky, having such a beautiful, sweet, smart, funny little boy to call my own (yes, even when he's doing his pterodactyl scream and wreaking havoc around the house).  i feel his little brother kicking away inside of me, and i already know: i've hit the jackpot, twice.