istanbul with a keating

this weekend we left town once more, for our last trip as a family of three.  from now until july (or late june, i foolishly hope??), we'll be home-bound, waiting for baby brudder to make his entrance.  maybe it's that we have an excessively cute and loving two year old, or maybe it's that ben and i both realize these days with just one little man in our life are numbered, but we are soaking up every minute with him that we can.  and he is so much fun - so that helps too, i suppose.  

a shot from two weeks ago at rubi platinum to remind you of his adorableness, even with food on his face

so on thursday we packed up the car and hit the highway for bolu, where we would spend the night before continuing onto istanbul the next morning.  ben had the idea to break up the drive, and between my ever shrinking bladder (thanks, pregnancy), general discomfort and dirty house (thanks, renovations), i happily agreed.  

emre naps before we hit the road

bolu is a tiny town in the mountains about midway between ankara and istanbul.  once a tourist destination, it doesn't have much going on anymore since a tunnel was built, eliminating the need for travelers enroute to ankara or istanbul to stop for a rest or to wait out bad weather or an accident (the road used to travel up and over a mountain).  it's sad, because the place is beautifully green & peaceful.  we enjoyed an overnight stay at the one hotel there, where the decor dates back to the 90s and the staff are incredibly friendly.

there was a group of filipino tourists, several of whom wanted their picture taken with emre, and a college reunion taking place

a buffet dinner was included with the room charge.  the chef - upon seeing i was pregnant, i suppose?  - grabbed my plate and filled it up for me, sprinkled on fresh oregano, and then insisted i take some yogurt as well.  it was delicious!

the waiter gave emre a balloon & it was, as of yet, the best thing that's ever happened to him...

...well, that and watermelon

the room had some interesting messages for us, including this one under the toilet seat, and glow in the dark paint above the bed which spelled out 'angels on your pillow!' and kind of freaked us out when we turned out the lights (ben got up to make sure he'd locked the door).

emre took a bag of hazelnuts from the minibar for the road - and within 30 minutes had eaten the entire thing.

we arrived in istanbul around 1pm on friday.  we were meeting matt keating, who was in town for an mba-related trip.  ben and emre settled into the room for a nap while matt and i took off for a walk & lunch in the neighborhood.  it was great to get some 'cousin' time together, catching up.

meanwhile, back at the hotel... this

we had a wonderful weekend (with amazing weather!) that somehow did not inspire many photographs. on saturday we all ventured to ortakoy and besiktas, where emre napped and we felt an earthquake and took a ferry across the bosphorus & back.  on sunday matt and i did some more walking around the city before meeting up with emre and ben for a stroll down istiklal boulevard & dinner at our favorite thai place, cok cok (choke-choke).  

how emre spent sunday (not being spoiled - at all)

ben's cousins let emre pick some of their old toys to take with him, and that is how we ended up with a barbie corvette and several barbie hairbrushes, one small plastic hairdryer plus a freaky plastic baby and one tiny green shoe, which must be referred to as 'baby shoe.'

uncle matt!

everyone at the hotel just got used to the kid toting the blue convertible.

on monday it was time for us to head home, and matt to begin his busy week with his mba group.  we said our goodbyes and headed for the ferry, which we took out of istanbul, avoiding some traffic.

emre's first ferry ride

not letting go of that hairdryer

we had a pleasant enough drive home and have quickly settled back in to life in ankara.  the end!

fall is finally here

or, at least that's what the weather forecast is telling me:

rain, rain, and more rain.

so this weekend i plan on getting my baking groove back by trying out this and this for possible thanksgiving desserts - that is if i can find the necessary ingredients for both.  i might have missed the figs, but let's hope not because just looking at that galette is making my mouth water.  i'm also planning on making martha's mac & cheese with some irish cheddar i brought back from dublin (if it's good enough for jefferson, it's good enough for me).  i've not baked or cooked in such a long time, i really look forward to getting back to it as the weather turns cold.  nothing like some comfort food on a rainy weekend!

the past week has been such a tough one watching my sister & brother-in-law deal with an impossible situation: losing their home to superstorm sandy.  a big blessing has been all of the support and love they've received from friends & strangers alike.  thank you to all of you who donated to their site to help them start over again.  sometimes i really have to wonder if jenni isn't responsible in some way for the kindness we receive during our most difficult times.

yesterday i woke up to good news followed by great news:  obama was re-elected president, and sarah & jeff found an apartment!  this is the best possible scenario, as the items they did salvage need to dry properly and cannot do that in a storage unit.  they'd left them in a u-haul in front of their old place, and luckily on tuesday found a nice apartment in a large, modern building to move them to.  it felt like a weight had been lifted when i read that news.  ben took emre and i out to celebrate last night with a fish dinner - you've got to celebrate the successes!

after we got home from dinner, we were bathing emre when the power went out.  faced with a pitch-black apartment, we grabbed emre from the bath, put him in his pj's and brought him to our dark bedroom where i nursed him until he fell asleep.  well, in that quiet, dark apartment, ben and i quickly fell asleep too!  we slept nearly 11 hours all together.  woke up this morning feeling like a brand new person (but regretting not having taken my contacts out), surrounded by my family.  definitely a great end to a great day - and a wonderful start to a new one!

i know it in my heart to be true

it's so hard to believe that today marks three years since i lost my oldest sister.   

jenni had a natural gift when it came to caring for children. they absolutely, universally adored her.

she spent a good deal of time working as a babysitter and nanny.  i will never forget how, the last time i saw her, she had garnered the love of yet another child - sarah & jeff's niece, madeline - and how they laughed and played together as if they'd known each other for a very long time.

 it is painful to think about what an amazing aunt she would have been to emre, and that he will never have the chance to know her.  she would have doted on him...

...and i know that, one day, he would have loved her sense of humor, kindness, knowledge of the most random trivia, and her love of music, among other things.  they would have developed an unbreakable bond, nephew & aunt.

i spent a lot of time thinking about that throughout my pregnancy, and of course, during these first few weeks with him.

but there is one thought which brings peace of mind,

and that is knowing that she is somewhere, watching over him, and always will be.

i know this in my heart to be true.  i will work hard to make sure that emre knows it as well, always.

we miss you, aunt jenni.  

to my sister on her 35th birthday

today, you would have been 35. another milestone birthday. i think you would have probably been a little depressed about getting nearer to the big 4-0, but you usually had a pretty good attitude about these things. and, as you always proudly pointed out, you never looked your age.

we would have thrown you a party, or had a sister's weekend, like we did for your 30th, when we stayed on the lake in cooperstown. just us three. sarah and i threw an impromptu aretha franklin performance, singing & dancing along to her greatest hits, as you sat skeptical, slightly embarrassed for us, watching from the couch. you laughed with us though, took it all in stride... your two younger sisters, sooo dramatic.

we'd be planning your trip to turkey, your first, and all of the celebrating we'd do as a family.

now, when i cook something you would like - which is not very often, as you were a very picky eater - i like to pretend i'm cooking it for you. i think of the time when i bought salmon to make us a special new year's eve dinner, then learned you didn't like salmon, so i made you a cheeseburger instead. then you found a hair in it-my hair- and wouldn't eat a bite. we could barely stay awake until midnight that night, didn't finish the bottle of champagne after watching the ball drop.

on your ninth birthday, you got a michael jackson barbie doll among the other gifts you opened at breakfast. you were obsessed with him, hung his mail-ordered glove from the ceiling in your room, spinning in the breeze next to the unicorn and rainbows you were quickly outgrowing. being the impatient 5 year old i was, i took the doll out to the backyard while you were at school and lost his tiny microphone in the grass before you'd had a chance to use it.

on this may 25th, i want to celebrate with you, to honor you. i want bake you your favorite cake and watch you blow out the candles after a champagne toast. i want to be sarcastic with you; hear you laughing from the other room. i want to help you pick out a dress to wear in my wedding. i want you to know ben better and meet his family.

i want to sneak up behind you while you're reading the sunday paper, perched on a kitchen stool, poke you in the back and make you jump with surprise, shrieking my name. i want you to fall in love completely with someone, and tell me all of his best and worst habits. i want to sit around making fun of each other and pull your hair until you've had enough and your eyes go wide. i want you to tickle my knees until i laugh so hard i can't breathe; to hear stories from childhood that only you remember best. i want to do your make-up and share beauty products, sit up talking well past our bedtime. i want to hear you say my nickname in your mocking tone... kahhhtyyyaaaah. i want to tell secrets in soft candlelight on summer nights in the back garden.

mostly, i just want you to be here, celebrating with us, on your 35th birthday.

happy birthday, to my oldest sister.

the comfort of brownies

lately i've been looking for comfort in any form i can get it. ben has needed this too, with his seemingly unending bout of the flu. my ailment however is of the heart, the missing piece that has become so much more pronounced this month. this is not to say the pain is not always present from losing my sister jenni, but with the anniversary this tuesday i seem to be reliving the events that took place last year. and that has been, in a word, painful.

so, yesterday we were stuck at home with ben in recovery and me taking care of him. i decided we could both use a dose of comfort, and upon realizing this discovered that i had all of the ingredients for this perfect brownie recipe i had stumbled across on the internet some time ago. in turkey there is no such thing as betty crocker, let alone her brownie mix, so i was happy to have found this very easy recipe for making them from scratch. the result was pure perfection, the chewiest most chocolaty brownies you've ever tasted... enough to lift the spirits, if only for a little while. try it & you won't be disappointed.

Cocoa Brownies
Makes 16 larger or 25 smaller brownies

10 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 1/4 cups sugar
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder (natural or Dutch-process)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 large eggs, cold
1/2 cup all-purpose flour

1. Position a rack in the lower third of the oven and preheat the oven to 325°F. Line the bottom and sides of an 8×8-inch square baking pan with parchment paper or foil, leaving an overhang on two opposite sides.

2. Combine the butter, sugar, cocoa, and salt in a medium heatproof bowl and set the bowl in a wide skillet of barely simmering water. Stir from time to time until the butter is melted and the mixture is smooth and hot enough that you want to remove your finger fairly quickly after dipping it in to test. Remove the bowl from the skillet and set aside briefly until the mixture is only warm, not hot.

3. Stir in the vanilla with a wooden spoon. Add the eggs one at a time, stirring vigorously after each one. When the batter looks thick, shiny, and well blended, add the flour and stir until you cannot see it any longer, then beat vigorously for 40 strokes with the wooden spoon or a rubber spatula. Spread evenly in the lined pan.

4. Bake until a toothpick plunged into the center emerges slightly moist with batter, 20 to 25 minutes. Let cool completely on a rack. (Deb suggests putting the cooled pan in the fridge or freezer for a while, which helps if you want clean lines when cutting the brownies.)

5. Lift up the ends of the parchment or foil liner, and transfer the brownies to a cutting board. Cut into 16 or 25 squares.